How you do ANYTHING is how you do EVERYTHING

March 29, 2022 by Kyira Wackett in Values-Driven Learning

I was (and still sometimes am) the person who would vacuum the house and conveniently go around furniture rather than move it. I'd wipe the counters but sometimes "forget" to lift up the appliances and get underneath. Rather than make the bed and straighten the covers each night, I'd just throw the crumpled heap over me and go to bed — usually in whatever shirt I happened to have been wearing that day.

I would overbook myself and not take time to actually sit and eat a meal (meaning I eat while doing 6 or 7 other things), take breaks or be in the moment. I'd rush to complete my checklist rather than invest in the project or task itself, sometimes giving 50 or 60% to a task rather than my full 100% just so I can get it done and move on.

This happened so much that sometimes, I would mentally be on to the next thing before I had finished what I was doing and get flustered if anything held me up.

ANY OF THIS RESONATING WITH YOU?

Law of Averages — You can’t always get an ace.

March 22, 2022 by Kyira Wackett in Self-Love

Not every blog will be the best — no matter how much my perfection brain pressures me to try.

Not getting anywhere in therapy? Have you considered this?

March 15, 2022 by Kyira Wackett in Self-Love

I have felt this way as a client and a therapist. The stagnancy and annoyance where it seems like all you do is come in and give an update about your week or complain about the same things that were bothering you the last time. You talk in circles around an issue but stay tethered to the same anchor points.

You start to wonder what you are even doing in therapy — is this even helping?

You are already overwhelmed and have little time and energy left to give. You consider leaving. But is that what's best? Is the problem the therapist? Is it something else? Before making a decision on whether or not to end your work with your therapist, consider the following:

Perspective — the key factor in how we view the world.

March 08, 2022 by Kyira Wackett in Addressing Shame

It looks like an awesome photo on a boat of me looking off onto (what seems to be) a beautiful view from the outside. True. There were probably some fantastic views to be had. But this story is quite different.

We were in Iceland and on a whale watching tour with HIGH hopes of seeing a whale out on the ocean.

But after 2 canceled or rescheduled trips that week, and the hope of the 3rd time being the charm, we were unpleasantly surprised to see no more than 10 feet from the boat and were in the midst of stormy weather (which is not unusual in Iceland) the entire boat ride. Even when we hit clearer patches, there was nothing.

I probably wouldn't have been able to see it anyway as I was mostly trying to keep myself from throwing up from seasickness the entire boat ride. And before you ask, yes, I have tried the patches, pills, bracelets, and more...nothing curbs the drive to vomit when I am on a boat, unfortunately, no matter how strong my will or number of attempts. Now, when we think of the world of social media and the internet, we see too many painted pictures of beauty, wonder, and life to "be jealous of." We see perspectives manipulated to show a certain view or outcome.

Don't get me wrong — I am all about people enjoying their lives and sharing that enjoyment and wonder with the world.

AND I am a realist.

Failure is a privilege we should all take advantage of.

March 01, 2022 by Kyira Wackett in Fear & Anxiety

This time of the pandemic has been filled with failures — personal, professional, communal, global — and it is time we start to reframe the way we think about and respond to them.

I have spent most of my life fearing failure — believing it is a sign of weakness or a testament to low self-worth. Everything I did had to be perfect (or as close to perfect as it could be). I expected A’s in every class, success in every venture, and for every plan or intention to be idyllic. If I set off with a goal or idea, there was little to no flexibility and changing course seemed like the furthest thing from possible in my mind. After all, if you get it right the first time, why should anything have to change?

Looking back on it, it seems ridiculous! To expect everything to be perfect is already bonkers but to think it should be that way right out the gate?

It takes Everly tens…even hundreds of times of trying something before she has mastered it. And do I get mad or think she is somehow less worthy because she has “failed” along the way? Absolutely not! In fact, seeing her respond to failures is one of my greatest joys in being her mom. I can see her learning patience, studying her mistakes, adapting, and pivoting as she continues on her journey. But for some reason, that excitement and leaning into failure gets lost on us as we get older.