PRETENDING TO BE SOMEONE YOU AREN’T IS A MISERABLE EXISTENCE.

The fear of being seen is overwhelming.

We spend years hiding our true selves — making sure that no one can see our flaws — real or perceived. The idea of letting anyone in is frightening.

What will they think of me?

Will they judge me?

Will they leave?

Our shame leads us to believe the only outcome is pain, rejection, and loneliness. Why? Because…

Worth and value. Two words that get confused a lot when it comes to knowing how to assert yourself.

So what is the difference and why should you care?

Radical acceptance is one of the most powerful processes in the human experience.

Learning to control the things that are actually ours to own — what we say and do, the choices we make in response to the people and experiences around us, how we frame our lives — and letting go of the things that aren’t — external validation and acceptance, what someone else thinks or does, what may or may not happen in the future — is incredibly challenging.

Especially when shame is constantly trying to sidestep your focus to anchor on everything outside of yourself, leaving you justifying, rationalizing, complaining and anchoring on “someday” and “It’s not that bad” fantasies.

I get it; it’s scary to focus our attention on things we can actually do something about. The fear is real and screaming in your face.

And, radical acceptance — nothing will change until you change your positioning.

One of the most challenging realizations regarding shame work is that you can't muscle your way through or past it.

The only way to relinquish shame's hold on you is to face it head-on.

But how?