Radical acceptance is one of the most powerful processes in the human experience.

Learning to control the things that are actually ours to own — what we say and do, the choices we make in response to the people and experiences around us, how we frame our lives — and letting go of the things that aren’t — external validation and acceptance, what someone else thinks or does, what may or may not happen in the future — is incredibly challenging.

Especially when shame is constantly trying to sidestep your focus to anchor on everything outside of yourself, leaving you justifying, rationalizing, complaining and anchoring on “someday” and “It’s not that bad” fantasies.

I get it; it’s scary to focus our attention on things we can actually do something about. The fear is real and screaming in your face.

And, radical acceptance — nothing will change until you change your positioning.

Trying to control the world around you is easy because it's predictable. Nothing actually changes, and you get to stay stuck in the cycle of judgment and avoidance. You don't like it but at least you know how to live in it. And you get to avoid doing the really scary work — making a change. So, you sit, unhappy, burnt out and focusing all of your energy on taking care of everyone else while growing your list of what everyone else needs to be, should, or isn't doing.

I'm done doing that. Anyone else?

Great! Let's try something different as we go into the last few weeks of the year. Let's stop trying to control other people. Let's stop taking responsibility for what isn't ours.

Let's allow the possibility that we can and deserve to change our lives to stop feeling stuck in cycles of shame and avoidance.

Doing that means practicing radical acceptance of the following:

You're not fine.
You don't have to.
You do have a choice.
You do have time.
The work is never done.
You are not responsible for your job or other people's lack of resources, time and energy.
You are not defined by what you do.

Which one stands out most to you?

Now hold it. Anchor on it and consider how your life would be different if you can get to a place you believe this.

Write the statement somewhere you can see it every day, and let's bring in the winter season while driving in our own lane.

Inspired to go deeper and really enact change in your life?

If you are tired of piece mealing the work together and feeling stuck with ecxactly what to do and how to go about it, check out my immersive 5-Phase program, "That Life AR" that is designed to walk you through the 5 steps involved in making any meaningful and sustainable life change.

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Accept It. You're not fine. And that's okay.