How you do ANYTHING is how you do EVERYTHING
I was (and still sometimes am) the person who would vacuum the house and conveniently go around furniture rather than move it. I'd wipe the counters but sometimes "forget" to lift up the appliances and get underneath. Rather than make the bed and straighten the covers each night, I'd just throw the crumpled heap over me and go to bed — usually in whatever shirt I happened to have been wearing that day.
I would overbook myself and not take time to actually sit and eat a meal (meaning I eat while doing 6 or 7 other things), take breaks or be in the moment. I'd rush to complete my checklist rather than invest in the project or task itself, sometimes giving 50 or 60% to a task rather than my full 100% just so I can get it done and move on.
This happened so much that sometimes, I would mentally be on to the next thing before I had finished what I was doing and get flustered if anything held me up.
ANY OF THIS RESONATING WITH YOU?
You get so caught up in getting through to the next thing you just rush through whatever task is in front of you?
WHERE DOES THIS COME FROM?
This comes from an over-emphasis on completion-oriented thinking — trying to minimize the time and energy involved in a task to get on to the next thing. It is about living with your brain one step ahead of the NOW and being controlled by the pressures of urgency and production.
It is rooted in a belief that we must always be doing and producing rather than being. It says that we are valued by what we do — more specifically, what we complete — than who we are.
BUT AT WHAT COST?
Over time, this literal and figurative cutting of corners creates a lazy or half-assed brain that is overworked, anxious, and drowning in self-deprecation. It allows incomplete thoughts and actions to be "good enough" and focuses on mass production and output versus high-quality output and intentional engagement. The focus shifts from tending to the self and connecting to and living in our values to running ourselves ragged to do it all.
It shifts us into thinking about the self and life as "content" or everything we can do and accomplish rather than seeing the self in "context" or enjoying or at least being present in each task and endeavor and not allowing the pressure to produce sacrifice our "how" and our "why" in what we do.
So, rather than taking time to warm up before a workout and stretch and replenish the body afterward, we rush through a workout, give our body no love or care and jump right back into all of the other tasks we have to do.
We eat lunch while answering emails and managing dozens of different tasks rather than tasting our food and listening to our bodies.
We make to-do lists of 50 tasks to complete in a day rather than 5 or 6, giving them our time, energy, and focus.
We mark our lives as "okay as is" and keep chasing this ridiculous notion that we do not have time to be in the moment or engage in activities like self-care.
WHERE DOES THIS LEAD US?
Burnout. We are overworked, overwhelmed, constantly rushing, and out of touch with our physical and emotional feelings until our brain wipes out and crashes. It's why so many of us get caught in a cycle of "go, go, go" then crash in front of the TV at the end of the day. Because we are trying to do too much at the expense of ourselves. And for what?
A LOW-QUALITY LIFE AND POOR PRODUCTION OUTPUT.
Would you rather have a whole bag of Chips Ahoy or one bakery fresh, gooey chocolate chip cookie? Would you rather have a dozen cheap trinkets from the fair or one high-quality, locally made stuffed animal or wooden toy for your kiddo? Would you rather have one nice pair of shoes that will last you for years or cheap, poorly made shoes that hurt your feet every time you wear them and have to be replaced every few months?
There is (truly) no question. We would go for the higher quality and more fantastic experience. So why not do that in our day-to-day life?
THINK ABOUT THIS IDEA — HOW YOU DO ANYTHING IS HOW YOU DO EVERYTHING.
If I half-ass something in one area of my life, I am way more likely to do it in other areas. If I am bad at setting boundaries at work, I will have a much greater likelihood of being bad at setting them in my personal life.
If I don't take time each day to eat, practice self-care and give the brain a break, I will likely build "rules" that make me feel like I am not allowed to do this and it will become harder and harder to shift my thinking.
If I rush from task to task, moment to moment, I am always going to be on the chase, and even though not being present while I do the dishes may not seem like a big deal, not being present in moments with my daughter is. And the more I rush through my daily "to-dos" the more I will rush through time with her. It's a way of living and that ideology taints everything we do, say, think and feel.
If instead, I make it a point to clean out the fridge every time I go to the grocery store and put new food in, then I enjoy opening the fridge and don't feel shame about seeing old containers pile up or get grossed out seeing food marks build up all over.
If I take the extra 15-20 minutes each day to warm up and cool down with my workout, my body enjoys every other moment throughout the day and can show up with me in the other tasks I do.
Suppose I set boundaries at work about when I am and am not available via email or other communication. In that case, I will have greater ease in setting these boundaries at home and not allowing things to carry over into my time with my family, loved ones, or myself.
And suppose I make myself a priority in every moment and nurture my mind, body, and soul. In that case, I will internalize that belief in all I do and stop being so easily swayed by the pressure of the world around me that I have to "do" or produce to meet some ridiculous standard of worth and value.
So, go back to it:
HOW YOU DO ANYTHING IS HOW YOU DO EVERYTHING.
Show up to each thing you are doing with an invitation to yourself to be present. I am not asking you to compromise your goals or to stop being productive. But perhaps think about what it can mean to live a life of intentional productivity where you invest the time upfront and in everything you do to create systems, structures, and connections of meaning and ease.
FOR MORE ON THIS TOPIC, CHECK OUT THESE OTHER RESOURCES:
Video: What you’re feeling is shame.
Video: Radical Acceptance — what is and is not in your control
Resource Page: How to slow down, be less busy AND be okay with it
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