Perspective — the key factor in how we view the world.

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It looks like an awesome photo on a boat of me looking off onto (what seems to be) a beautiful view from the outside. True. There were probably some fantastic views to be had. But this story is quite different.

We were in Iceland and on a whale watching tour with HIGH hopes of seeing a whale out on the ocean.

But after 2 canceled or rescheduled trips that week, and the hope of the 3rd time being the charm, we were unpleasantly surprised to see no more than 10 feet from the boat and were in the midst of stormy weather (which is not unusual in Iceland) the entire boat ride. Even when we hit clearer patches, there was nothing.

I probably wouldn't have been able to see it anyway as I was mostly trying to keep myself from throwing up from seasickness the entire boat ride. And before you ask, yes, I have tried the patches, pills, bracelets, and more...nothing curbs the drive to vomit when I am on a boat, unfortunately, no matter how strong my will or number of attempts. Now, when we think of the world of social media and the internet, we see too many painted pictures of beauty, wonder, and life to "be jealous of." We see perspectives manipulated to show a certain view or outcome.

Don't get me wrong — I am all about people enjoying their lives and sharing that enjoyment and wonder with the world.

AND I am a realist.

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Are you an ASKER or a GUESSER: The crucial difference in how we make and respond to requests

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We often assume that everyone thinks the same way we do. Unfortunately (and fortunately), that is not the case.

Shocker, right?

But it is not uncommon for our brain to project our own experiences, thoughts, and systems of operations onto others.

In many cases, we feel reactive when we find out they have a different viewpoint, value system, or internal narrative.

There are many instances in which this is incredibly powerful.

Gaining new perspectives or brainstorming creative problem-solving strategies, learning new ways to do something or engage in the world, connecting to people on a different level and expanding our view from the stories we have come to internalize to those around us as well.

But there are times in which this can cause rupture and tension — especially when it comes to interpersonal relationships and making asks of each other.

Examples may include when to get married, what needs to be done around the house, how to approach a particular conversation, what it looks like to be considerate or "be there" for someone, or even how to send an email.

Our brain can trap us into assuming there is a "right way" or unilateral response and can lead to feelings of resentment and conflict when people operate differently.

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