We often assume that everyone thinks the same way we do. Unfortunately (and fortunately), that is not the case.

Shocker, right?

But it is not uncommon for our brain to project our own experiences, thoughts, and systems of operations onto others.

In many cases, we feel reactive when we find out they have a different viewpoint, value system, or internal narrative.

There are many instances in which this is incredibly powerful.

Gaining new perspectives or brainstorming creative problem-solving strategies, learning new ways to do something or engage in the world, connecting to people on a different level and expanding our view from the stories we have come to internalize to those around us as well.

But there are times in which this can cause rupture and tension — especially when it comes to interpersonal relationships and making asks of each other.

Examples may include when to get married, what needs to be done around the house, how to approach a particular conversation, what it looks like to be considerate or "be there" for someone, or even how to send an email.

Our brain can trap us into assuming there is a "right way" or unilateral response and can lead to feelings of resentment and conflict when people operate differently.