Perspective — the key factor in how we view the world.

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It looks like an awesome photo on a boat of me looking off onto (what seems to be) a beautiful view from the outside. True. There were probably some fantastic views to be had. But this story is quite different.

We were in Iceland and on a whale watching tour with HIGH hopes of seeing a whale out on the ocean.

But after 2 canceled or rescheduled trips that week, and the hope of the 3rd time being the charm, we were unpleasantly surprised to see no more than 10 feet from the boat and were in the midst of stormy weather (which is not unusual in Iceland) the entire boat ride. Even when we hit clearer patches, there was nothing.

I probably wouldn't have been able to see it anyway as I was mostly trying to keep myself from throwing up from seasickness the entire boat ride. And before you ask, yes, I have tried the patches, pills, bracelets, and more...nothing curbs the drive to vomit when I am on a boat, unfortunately, no matter how strong my will or number of attempts. Now, when we think of the world of social media and the internet, we see too many painted pictures of beauty, wonder, and life to "be jealous of." We see perspectives manipulated to show a certain view or outcome.

Don't get me wrong — I am all about people enjoying their lives and sharing that enjoyment and wonder with the world.

AND I am a realist.

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Failure is a privilege we should all take advantage of.

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This time of the pandemic has been filled with failures — personal, professional, communal, global — and it is time we start to reframe the way we think about and respond to them.


I have spent most of my life fearing failure — believing it is a sign of weakness or a testament to low self-worth. Everything I did had to be perfect (or as close to perfect as it could be). I expected A’s in every class, success in every venture, and for every plan or intention to be idyllic. If I set off with a goal or idea, there was little to no flexibility and changing course seemed like the furthest thing from possible in my mind. After all, if you get it right the first time, why should anything have to change?

Looking back on it, it seems ridiculous! To expect everything to be perfect is already bonkers but to think it should be that way right out the gate?

It takes Everly tens…even hundreds of times of trying something before she has mastered it. And do I get mad or think she is somehow less worthy because she has “failed” along the way? Absolutely not! In fact, seeing her respond to failures is one of my greatest joys in being her mom. I can see her learning patience, studying her mistakes, adapting, and pivoting as she continues on her journey. But for some reason, that excitement and leaning into failure gets lost on us as we get older.

Why is that?

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Striving for Certainty Only Breeds Stagnancy — Stop Letting Fear Drive the Bus

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As humans, our brains are hard-wired to avoid discomfort.

The fear part of our brain is the dominant driver in that goal. It acts to keep us safe by eliminating possibility and uncertainty as it equates them with threats to our safety.

When faced with ambiguity, our brain works quickly to assess the likelihood of a negative outcome. And fear, being the conservative that it is, never plays a game of risk.

If there is any possibility of a negative result, we feel an immediate pressure to withdraw or hide.

"Go back - it's not worth it," our fear calls to us.

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