Time does NOT heal all wounds

July 22, 2024 by Kyira Wackett in Grief & Forgiveness

"Time heals all wounds" is a common phrase that oversimplifies the complex process of healing. Emotions ebb and flow like ocean waves, and just as we can't rush the tides, we can't rush our feelings or the processing of them.

During a visit to the coast last week, I observed tide pools and realized that just as the tides move at their own pace, so do our emotional journeys. While time is a component of healing, it's not the sole factor. We need to actively engage with our emotions, processing and walking through pain to reach a place of healing. This requires a deliberate effort to understand our feelings, allowing them to surface and then dealing with them constructively.

Healing involves a delicate balance of insight, action, and time. Simply shelving our emotions and expecting them to resolve on their own is not enough. We need to break down our healing journey into manageable chunks—focusing on getting through a moment, a minute, or a day. This approach helps us handle the ebb and flow of emotions more effectively, acknowledging that healing is a gradual process. By actively working through our pain and giving ourselves the time to heal, we can move towards a more profound and lasting sense of well-being.

It's time to forgive yourself

January 02, 2024 by Kyira Wackett in Grief & Forgiveness

Forgiveness is a process that involves equal parts grieving and healing. It is about making space to feel and validate our pain and then work to untether ourselves from it to live a more present and fulfilling life. It is crucial to our well-being and yet is something so many of us don’t yet fully understand.

You NEED to forgive yourself

October 17, 2023 by Kyira Wackett in Grief & Forgiveness

The addiction to and chase to hear these words not just from them but from everyone became the goal of my pursuits rather than my values and intentions.

What good is doing good if you only do it for the gold star? What good is being successful if you lose focus on helping other people? Why do we see bigger ripples as more important and valuable when the smallest act (or non-act) can have the biggest change in someone’s life.

This is all a product of shame.

Grief. We need to actually start talking about it.

January 17, 2023 by Kyira Wackett in Grief & Forgiveness

I had the most incredible conversation with Courtney Passfield and Fiona Daley on their podcast, Your Daley Pass.

Courtney unexpectedly lost her father-in-law a few weeks before we recorded this episode ago. The intensity and complexity of her grief — and her willingness to process this together — allowed us to share in this beautiful space of exploration wherein we could look at the complexities of grief and emotion — anger, resentment, fear, pain, longing, etc — and make space for it.

We talked about grief as it pertains to death but also explored the impact of grief in other zones and areas of loss. And whew — it was intensely therapeutic and raw for all of us. One of the most significant spaces of curiosity was around emotional processing and the fears of getting stuck in grief (or a subset of it).

“What evidence do you have that you will get stuck there?”

It's time. Let it go.

December 06, 2022 by Kyira Wackett in Grief & Forgiveness

Too often, we get stuck in these spaces and places. We hold on to painful experiences and emotions because they give us a sense of power and “keep us in line”. But all we are doing by staying in these emotions is getting stuck in our past and eroding our chance of engagement in the present.