You NEED to forgive yourself

October 17, 2023 by Kyira Wackett in Grief & Forgiveness

The addiction to and chase to hear these words not just from them but from everyone became the goal of my pursuits rather than my values and intentions.

What good is doing good if you only do it for the gold star? What good is being successful if you lose focus on helping other people? Why do we see bigger ripples as more important and valuable when the smallest act (or non-act) can have the biggest change in someone’s life.

This is all a product of shame.

Are you ruminating or digesting?

September 20, 2022 by Kyira Wackett in Addressing Shame

Do you ever feel like your thoughts get stuck on repeat — endlessly perseverating over the same thing? Until you're so fixated on them, you can't think about anything else?

This is called rumination.

Rumination is a hyper-fixation on a person, situation, thought, or decision that inhibits our basic functioning.

It's a distraction or a pulling away from daily life, getting stuck in our heads. We’re displaced from the "now" and stuck skipping like an old Walkman on your super scratched CD.

BUT HOW DO WE STOP GETTING STUCK HERE?

Are you holding on to expired relationships?

October 26, 2021 by Kyira Wackett in Meaningful Relationships

Sometimes, we hold on to people and relationships because they’re comfortable.

Because they’re familiar. They’re predictable. But perhaps, the love or connection has faded — or was never really there.

Ex. The friendship that has drifted apart long agp but you keep saying ‘we should get together’ or the loveless marriage that you stay in because ‘divorce would be too hard on the kids’.

In order to move forward and not get stuck in these unhelpful and often stagnating relationships, we must be able to grieve the endings and gain clarity on the difference between superficial connection and that of depth and truth. Only then can we free up the background processing energy to invest more deeply in the love and connection that is true and real.

Stop underestimating your ability to cope with your own distress.

July 06, 2021 by Kyira Wackett in Distress Tolerance

I see it all of the time. As humans, it seems to be in our nature to undervalue ourselves and underestimate our ability to handle difficult situations. From dismissing our past achievements and endeavors, minimizing the strengths and abilities we hold within us, and giving our shame-free reign over our lives, we set the stage to be crippled by our distress.