Just be here. It's the only place that matters.

May 21, 2024 by Kyira Wackett in Distress Tolerance

Stop focusing on everything in your past or where you feel you need to go in your future. Pause. Take a deep breath and simply invite curiosity into the space. Ask yourself what you need and want right now. It is within these simply moments we cultivate a sense of calm that can recharge us for the work ahead and help us realign with our true self.

It's about the practice, not quick fixes and band-aid solutions.

December 26, 2023 by Kyira Wackett in Distress Tolerance

We have all done this — start a new habit or skill and then when things aren’t immediately better, we stop and label the concept or practice as unhelpful.

But it’s important to remember that no skill, tool or practice works in isolation. Everything we do, practice, or integrate into our lives is part of a larger infrastructure.

And when the bulk of our life-fabric is coated in shame and self-loathing, panic and anxiety, of course your 5 minutes of meditation isn’t going to do much at all.

Do it anyway.

Sweet Dreams: The Power of a Nighttime Worry List

October 31, 2023 by Kyira Wackett in Distress Tolerance

Do you find yourself tossing and turning in bed, your mind racing with worries and to-do lists, making it nearly impossible to slip into a peaceful slumber? You're not alone. Many of us grapple with cognitive stressors that stubbornly cling to our thoughts, especially when the lights go out. All of the distractions you have had throughout the day suddenly disappear and you are left alone, with your thoughts. You try reading or scrolling through social media, tossing and turning, but it seems no matter how tired you are, the thoughts keep coming back.

That’s because you haven’t put them anywhere else. You haven’t done anything with them so they just keep swirling. Instead of trying to outrun these thoughts or will them away, try this simple yet powerful technique…

Certainty is a trap designed by shame and fear.

March 14, 2023 by Kyira Wackett in Distress Tolerance

Raise your hand if you like certainty and guarantee. As humans, our brains are hard-wired to avoid discomfort.

Fear keeps us safe by eliminating possibility and uncertainty, which, over time, has equated to threats and safety hazards.

But at what cost?

REAL TALK: You WILL let people down.

January 24, 2023 by Kyira Wackett in Distress Tolerance

You will let people down.

Radical acceptance is about controlling what you can control and letting go of the rest. Now, as I say this, you are probably thinking, "well, sure, but I can control whether or not I let people down. That's a ‘me’ problem because what I do is causing them pain, right?" WRONG.

Sure, there are circumstances that we can reflect back and see that we have been a jerk. We've done something hurtful or harmful to others — either personally or collectively (such as making a racist or oppressive comment).

Those points are our responsibility.

But what I am focusing on here is not that.