It's about the practice, not quick fixes and band-aid solutions.

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Of course, it didn’t “fix” everything!

We have all done this — start a new habit or skill and then when things aren’t immediately better, we stop and label the concept or practice as unhelpful.

“Listen, I meditated for 10 minutes 3 times and I still feel like crap — clearly meditation doesn’t do anything.”

“I take a bubble bath every week and still hate my body — so much for self-care.”

“I set boundaries all the time and it doesn’t stop people from blowing right past them. Why even try?”

“I said what I was grateful for every night for a week and I still felt anxious, mad and alone. Why would I try that again?”

Again, I get it. I do this too. But it’s important to remember that no skill, tool or practice works in isolation. Everything we do, practice, or integrate into our lives is part of a larger infrastructure.

And when the bulk of our life-fabric is coated in shame and self-loathing, panic and anxiety, of course your 5 minutes of meditation isn’t going to do much at all.

Do it anyway.

Focus on 1% commitments and let go of the expectation.

Life is never going to feel great all of the time. To live is to face perpetual suffering.

Trying to rid ourselves of suffering is a gravity problem — i.e. it’s never going to happen.

But we can definitely minimize it by getting out of our own way. Let go of the idea that change is immediate, drastic and easy. Stop creating self-fulfilling prophecies by assuming:

  • This won’t work for me.

  • You wouldn’t understand.

  • My problems are unique.

  • I have tried it before and it didn’t help.

The best way to guarantee something won’t work is to go into it already assuming it won’t.

Shift your perspective away from trying to absolve yourself of pain or make it all better and focus on bringing in moments and pockets of practice rooted in self-love, mindfulness, and gratitude.

Because, you are right, 5 minutes of meditation, a few face masks and an away message at work will never be enough to stop boundary pushing, shame and doubt on its own. But every moment we commit to ourselves has the power to create a ripple; the larger ripple we create, the greater effects we can experience.