Striving for Certainty Only Breeds Stagnancy — Stop Letting Fear Drive the Bus

February 01, 2022 by Kyira Wackett in Fear & Anxiety

As humans, our brains are hard-wired to avoid discomfort.

The fear part of our brain is the dominant driver in that goal. It acts to keep us safe by eliminating possibility and uncertainty as it equates them with threats to our safety.

When faced with ambiguity, our brain works quickly to assess the likelihood of a negative outcome. And fear, being the conservative that it is, never plays a game of risk.

If there is any possibility of a negative result, we feel an immediate pressure to withdraw or hide.

"Go back - it's not worth it," our fear calls to us.

Stop underestimating your ability to cope with your own distress.

July 06, 2021 by Kyira Wackett in Distress Tolerance

I see it all of the time. As humans, it seems to be in our nature to undervalue ourselves and underestimate our ability to handle difficult situations. From dismissing our past achievements and endeavors, minimizing the strengths and abilities we hold within us, and giving our shame-free reign over our lives, we set the stage to be crippled by our distress.

Lean In To Your Ambiguity

May 06, 2019 by Kyira Wackett in Fear & Anxiety

As humans, our brains are hard wired to avoid discomfort. Fear acts to keep us safe by eliminating possibility and uncertainty, which, over time, it has equated to threats and safety hazards.

When we are faced with ambiguity and uncertainty, our brain works quickly to assess the likelihood of a negative outcome. And fear, being the conservative that it is, never plays a game of risk…(see more)

Give it a Day!

April 22, 2019 by Kyira Wackett in Meaningful Relationships

We are always in a rush to talk about or “fix” things. The distress we feel for our own and others suffering mounts itself, like a tidal wave that crashes down upon us and the idea of leaving something “hanging out there” feels like an insurmountable task.

I’ve done this more times than I can count. I’ve found reasons to text or call someone because I couldn’t read how they felt at the end of a conversation. I have sat there, frantically refreshing my emails to see if a response has come in from a boss or coworker because the unknown of what they are thinking or feeling has shackled me to my anxiety. I have pushed my husband to stay up way later than either of us wanted because we have to “solve” the arbitrary “this” right now.

Why? Where does that sense of urgency come in?

Words Matter

April 01, 2019 by Kyira Wackett in Assertive Communication

Remember that saying:

“Sticks and stones may break my back but words will never hurt me.”

I call BULLSHIT. What we say to each other matters. What we say to each other sticks with us, informing our core beliefs, fueling shame and leading us to constricting labels and judgments about ourselves that shape who we become.