Emotional Minimalism: Letting Go of the Emotions that Are No Longer Serving You

November 02, 2021 by Kyira Wackett in Grief & Forgiveness

Minimalism, a term that has, ironically, taken up so much space in our cultural constructs today, has dramatically shifted the norm. Owning less. Taking on less. Saying less. All of this is tied to a notion of simplification and decluttering of our physical space; but more importantly, of our mental and emotional space and being. I’ve toyed with what my exact definition of minimalism is and how it fits for me and my everyday life but the one thing I know to be true is the greater clarity, space, and resolution I feel in my life, the easier it is for me to show up fully and authentically in my relationships.

Their Reaction Is Not Always About You.

March 09, 2021 by Kyira Wackett in Meaningful Relationships

Have you ever found yourself in a conversation or interaction, wondering how things got from “here to there”?

It seemed like you were just talking when, suddenly, you are hit with a defense so powerful it is hard to respond. Anger — the degree of which seems completely misaligned with the intensity of the conversation. It might not even be anger directed at you but the intensity of this emotion creates a domino effect so powerful that it can filter everything through its red-coated lenses.

Emotions are like onions.

September 30, 2019 by Kyira Wackett in Addressing Shame

Emotions are complex.

Understanding our emotions and the language we use to describe them is an incredibly powerful tool. For many of us, we have “go to” emotions or descriptors. We may be “anxious” all of the time or “stressed” out and “overwhelmed”. However, sometimes, these catch-all terms are not exactly accurate and leave us with a misconception of our emotions and the complexities of our experiences. Why is this important?

"I FEEL" vs "I AM"

June 03, 2019 by Kyira Wackett in Addressing Shame

It seems small. One word change. AND, it makes all of the difference. This comes up all of the time with my clients. "I am so fat", they'll say, & with love and gentleness, I urge, "You FEEL fat". Or, "I feel like I failed" rather than "I am a failure". Why is this so important? Because we become the labels put on us & by saying "I am..." we're labeling ourselves, our entirety of being, rather than acknowledging the transient feeling or experience.

These statements are subjective. They may feel like truth but are in fact, opinion. They're attributions heavily ladened with shame, negative self talk & negative core beliefs. They are usually seen & defined through distorted lenses through which we view ourselves & our place in the world. Now, don't get me wrong. Even if it's subjective, the experience is real. I've definitely felt fat. I've felt like a failure & that no one likes me. AND, feeling those things does not make them true.

So, the next time you, or someone you care about says "I am...", gentle correct the course and replace it with "I feel...". Honor the feeling & experience while making space for those words not to shackle you to an identity unfairly ascribed.

Ready to take the next step?

Download the FREE handout, "5 Things Shame Resilient People do Every Day" and start making those daily shifts to break that shame cycle that's keeping you stuck in that negative headspace.
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Give it a Day!

April 22, 2019 by Kyira Wackett in Meaningful Relationships

We are always in a rush to talk about or “fix” things. The distress we feel for our own and others suffering mounts itself, like a tidal wave that crashes down upon us and the idea of leaving something “hanging out there” feels like an insurmountable task.

I’ve done this more times than I can count. I’ve found reasons to text or call someone because I couldn’t read how they felt at the end of a conversation. I have sat there, frantically refreshing my emails to see if a response has come in from a boss or coworker because the unknown of what they are thinking or feeling has shackled me to my anxiety. I have pushed my husband to stay up way later than either of us wanted because we have to “solve” the arbitrary “this” right now.