Emotional Minimalism: Letting Go of the Emotions that Are No Longer Serving You
“Live Simply So That Others May Simply Live.”
- Mahatma Gandhi
This quote can be interpreted in so many ways but one thing I really hold on to with it is how much we complicate our lives by holding on to things that are no longer serving us.
Minimalism, a term that has, ironically, taken up so much space in our cultural constructs today, has dramatically shifted the norm. Owning less. Taking on less. Saying less. All of this is tied to a notion of simplification and decluttering of our physical space; but more importantly, of our mental and emotional space and being. I’ve toyed with what my exact definition of minimalism is and how it fits for me and my everyday life but the one thing I know to be true is the greater clarity, space, and resolution I feel in my life, the easier it is for me to show up fully and authentically in my relationships.
When I can do this, I’m not holding onto old resentment. I’m not projecting unresolved emotions and experiences onto others. And most of all, I’m not assuming outcomes driven by fears and trauma from my past. If I can learn to identify and let go of these things, it frees up space for growth, change and possibility. It creates less tension with ambiguity and allows both hope and balanced outlooks to show up more actively in my life.
And though I used the term “simply,” do not make the mistake of assuming it as simple to get there. The journey is strenuous and often harrowing — facing the demons from our past and working through the difficult process of forgiveness. The destination, however, is simplicity. And in the simplicity you will see the beautiful complexities in the life you live.
To help you in your own journey, take some time and reflect on the following questions:
What past resentments and unresolved feelings am I holding on to? Where and with whom did they come from?
Imagine you are carrying a backpack filled with all of your past “baggage” - repressed emotions, trauma, negative self-talk, abuse/neglect, negative comments, etc. What are the biggest boulders in your bag? What would it take to be able to take them out and set them down?
How might they be getting in the way of my current relationships and in living the life I want?
What expectations have I placed on myself and my current relationships that I want/need to let go of? Why? (ex. “I find myself having false expectations of current relationships based on past ones and it gets in the way of truly trusting and connecting with people”)
What is one step I can take in the next week to work towards letting go of these expectations? How will I know when this step is complete?
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