Write Your Own Story. Live That Life / AR.
Understanding our emotions and the language we use to describe them is an incredibly powerful tool. For many of us, we have “go to” emotions or descriptors. We may be “anxious” all of the time or “stressed” out and “overwhelmed”. However, sometimes, these catch-all terms are not exactly accurate and leave us with a misconception of our emotions and the complexities of our experiences. Why is this important?
Read MoreFor many of us, we are stuck in a cycle of doing. We get up, we follow whatever routine or to-do list awaits us and work towards goals we never really took time to define or connect to.
We become a product of our “what” and “how” without connecting to the “why” that guides us. And without that connection, we simply become cogs in a wheel of stagnation and conformity. We graduate high school, go to college, get ‘X’ job, find a partner, get a house, work, make money, pay off debt…and continue on the hamster wheel of the “predictable human existence”. That was the momentum that described my life perfectly for over a decade.
Read MoreThere is something genetically embedded in all of us that makes us feel like saying “no” is the equivalent of calling someone a…well, you know.
The pressure to fit in or make others happy leads us to fill our plate and spend our F*CKS — time, money, energy — on things that we don’t want in order to feel validated, worthy or “good enough”.
We worry that by being honest about how we want or need to spend our time will make us seem selfish, lacking compassion, apathetic, or not invested. And so, I find myself in a state of perpetual “yes.”…
Read MoreWe have all gotten stuck on a thought — ruminating on a particular point until we feel stressed, anxious and overwhelmed.
“I should have said ‘X’.”
“Why didn’t I do ‘Y’'?“
“They probably think I am so stupid.”
Anxiety often thinks it’s being helpful when it keeps bringing things to your attention. “See, this is important” it says, keeping your line of sight right where it wants you to. The problem with that is that anxiety has a very narrow scope of focus. Like a toddler who spots the Lucky Charms and all they can do is think about needing the Lucky Charms, your anxious brain feels like all it can do is think about this thought.
Anxiety is a bitch. It truly is. And when anxiety and distress show up, they activate our fear-brain (referred to in my last blog post) which shuts off all of our executive control and function.
But, for any of us who have been there, we all know that these thoughts, feelings and behaviors can consume us if we don;t figure out some way to shut it down and get our brain off of this hell-ridden ride.
So, what can we do?
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