Microaggressions: What Are They and Why Should You Care?

in

I am currently exploring the idea of microaggressions. Did you know that there are various ways in which we can display microaggressions? There are microinsults, microassaults, and microinvalidations. I always thought that because I did not engage in microassaults (conscious and direct attacks and overtly aggressive or prejudiced actions) that I was not perpetrating these microaggressions.

The more I dive into this, the more I see I have been guilty…

Read More

The power of a morning routine.

in

Everything we do sets off or is part of a chain of events — a sequence of actions, thoughts and feelings. What we do affects what we think which affects what we feel and so on and so forth. When we set off a cascade of negative thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, it is hard to change course for momentum can build more quickly than we can counter it. And unfortunately, this can happen both as a result of inaction and action — in the choices we make or lack thereof.

This is why the concept of a morning routine is critical for mindset, mood, and connection. Starting your day by making choices that align with your values, help you center yourself, and set off a cascade of meaning and positivity can have a dramatic effect on your day. Whether it is as simple as taking a shower, having your breakfast and coffee while reading the paper, or something more involved like meditation, yoga, or a morning walk, our morning ritual acts as our first “domino”.

So consider which one you want to lay wisely.

Which day would be one you are more excited about — one where your alarm kicks off a feeling of dread while you lay in bed checking emails and feeling exhausted and resentful before you have even thrown off the covers or one where you wake up before your alarm even goes off, full of energy and joy and take time just for yourself before looking at your phone, checking emails or giving your energy anywhere but to yourself?

So, with that, I challenge you to think about your current morning routine. How are you starting each day? What is your first domino? And how is it affecting the rest of your day? Do you like that? Does it fulfill you? If not, it might be time to reframe it and start to shift to a routine and rituals that set off the kind of day, week, year, and life you are excited to lead.


Get off the hamster wheel and live a life you choose rather than pursue.

in

It is so easy to get swept up in the current of urgency — we need to do it all now or risk being behind. Whether that is in our personal lives — “settle down”, pick a career, have kids, be debt-free, move out, etc — or in our professional lives — make 'X' amount of money, get promoted, launch a new business or, more generally, be "successful" — we are consumed by it.

We expect so many things to happen immediately or on some arbitrary timeline imposed by the world around us. I think of it as the conveyor belt perpetuated by the cult of the average. To be clear, I am not commenting on anyone’s value when I say average. I am commenting on the drive to conform — to find safety and solitude in the collective plan and goal. To fit in at all costs and pursue a dream bestowed upon rather than cultivated by us.

These ideals have been fed to us since we were young — before we really knew we could ask “why” before hopping aboard. But the reality is that all that awaits us at the end of the conveyor belt is loneliness, resentment and what I call, “predictable sh*ttyness” — a life of stagnancy and “fine”. We do not like our lives but we are comfortable in the predictability and at least feel like we know what to do and what to expect so we stay, trapped and unhappy.

What keeps us stuck in this cycle?

Read More

How To Respond When Someone Keeps Talking About Diets

in ,

This happens all of the time. Talking about food is not the problem. Talking about food from a shame-based lens is the problem. The pressure to be on a diet, to berate yourself for what you have eaten or “should” be doing, to assume only certain body types can eat certain food…and the list goes on. All of this is shame-driven communication.

Sometimes we eat too much. Sometimes we do not eat enough. Sometimes we need help managing what we eat, how often, and how difficult it can be to feel like we are not controlled by food and self-loathing.

We don’t need to keep perpetuating the ideals that are simultaneously trapping us. So, what can we do if we find ourselves trapped in these conversations?

Try these responses…

Read More

How To Trick Your Brain Into Seeing Anxiety As Excitement

in ,

Did you know that fear and anxiety elicit the exact same physiological response as excitement?

Yep. It’s true.

The only difference is whether or not you assign a "positive" or "negative" correlation to it.

So, the next time you are about to do something that leaves you feeling uneasy, anxious and unsure…

Read More