Love: Defining it with our senses and differentiating between how we give and receive it

Love takes work. It means putting in effort even when you are depleted. And contrary to what we want to believe, it is not convenient. Yet, it is vital to our sense of connection and fulfillment in the world.

How do we know what loves looks like and how it shows up for us? How do you want to receive or be shown that love? How do you show it? This blog post is about getting you to think more about these ideas and getting clear on the role love plays in your life and how to show it to others effectively as well as ask for it in the ways you need and want it.

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Microaggressions: What Are They and Why Should You Care?

I am currently exploring the idea of microaggressions. Did you know that there are various ways in which we can display microaggressions? There are microinsults, microassaults, and microinvalidations. I always thought that because I did not engage in microassaults (conscious and direct attacks and overtly aggressive or prejudiced actions) that I was not perpetrating these microaggressions.

The more I dive into this, the more I see I have been guilty…

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Stop asking if you make sense!

I do this all of the time! I will share information or be presenting on a talk and will pause and ask whomever I am speaking, “Does that make sense?” Now, the sentiment is valid. I understand sometimes I am sharing complex information or may be sharing a large volume of information in one sitting. Asking if I make sense is a courtesy, right? I care about the audience and want to make sure that they are understanding what I am saying. Wrong...well, mostly, anyway.

See, when we ask if this makes sense, we are doing 2 things:

  1. Implying that what we are saying does not make sense which subconsciously introduces confusion and doubt into your audience while simultaneously disrupting your flow.

  2. Puts the burden of responsibility entirely on you to keep checking in and to make sure that people are understanding what you are saying/mean.

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Stop worrying about the credit.

Sometimes I worry more about getting the credit than about making a contribution. Do you ever feel that way? Fighting the urge to tell someone you are responsible for this successful action or outcome to make sure you are associated with and celebrated for it? Creating or doing for the praise rather than putting something into the universe that elevates and empowers those around you?

It's normal. Trust me. And I am not just saying that because I want to make myself feel better.

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