Stop asking if you make sense!

I do this all of the time! I will share information or be presenting on a talk and will pause and ask whomever I am speaking, “Does that make sense?” Now, the sentiment is valid. I understand sometimes I am sharing complex information or may be sharing a large volume of information in one sitting. Asking if I make sense is a courtesy, right? I care about the audience and want to make sure that they are understanding what I am saying. Wrong...well, mostly, anyway.

See, when we ask if this makes sense, we are doing 2 things:

  1. Implying that what we are saying does not make sense which subconsciously introduces confusion and doubt into your audience while simultaneously disrupting your flow.

  2. Puts the burden of responsibility entirely on you to keep checking in and to make sure that people are understanding what you are saying/mean.

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What's wrong with being confident?

For too long, the only thing I was confident about was that I would never be able to be confident being myself. 

Wouldn’t it be nice if we could stop feeling perpetually less than? Confident in who we are. Rooted in ourselves and unfettered by the words, norms and expectations of others. 

Well, in short, it IS possible. AND, it takes a LOT of f*cking work!

I have been on a quest for confidence for over 20 years and feel like I am just starting to figure out the steps to actually feeling it versus pretending I do to get through a moment or point in time. 

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