What is Your "Why"?

September 23, 2019 by Kyira Wackett in Values-Driven Learning

For many of us, we are stuck in a cycle of doing. We get up, we follow whatever routine or to-do list awaits us and work towards goals we never really took time to define or connect to.

We become a product of our “what” and “how” without connecting to the “why” that guides us. And without that connection, we simply become cogs in a wheel of stagnation and conformity. We graduate high school, go to college, get ‘X’ job, find a partner, get a house, work, make money, pay off debt…and continue on the hamster wheel of the “predictable human existence”. That was the momentum that described my life perfectly for over a decade.

Learning to Say "NO"

September 16, 2019 by Kyira Wackett in Assertive Communication

There is something genetically embedded in all of us that makes us feel like saying “no” is the equivalent of calling someone a…well, you know.

The pressure to fit in or make others happy leads us to fill our plate and spend our F*CKS — time, money, energy — on things that we don’t want in order to feel validated, worthy or “good enough”.

We worry that by being honest about how we want or need to spend our time will make us seem selfish, lacking compassion, apathetic, or not invested. And so, I find myself in a state of perpetual “yes.”…

How is that thought serving you?

September 09, 2019 by Kyira Wackett in Fear & Anxiety

We have all gotten stuck on a thought — ruminating on a particular point until we feel stressed, anxious and overwhelmed.

“I should have said ‘X’.”

“Why didn’t I do ‘Y’'?“

“They probably think I am so stupid.”

Anxiety often thinks it’s being helpful when it keeps bringing things to your attention. “See, this is important” it says, keeping your line of sight right where it wants you to. The problem with that is that anxiety has a very narrow scope of focus. Like a toddler who spots the Lucky Charms and all they can do is think about needing the Lucky Charms, your anxious brain feels like all it can do is think about this thought.

But is it really helpful?

Relax? Haha...okay! Let's try this instead!

September 02, 2019 by Kyira Wackett in Distress Tolerance

Anxiety is a bitch. It truly is. And when anxiety and distress show up, they activate our fear-brain (referred to in my last blog post) which shuts off all of our executive control and function.

But, for any of us who have been there, we all know that these thoughts, feelings and behaviors can consume us if we don;t figure out some way to shut it down and get our brain off of this hell-ridden ride.

So, what can we do?

Life is Not Always Supposed to Feel Comfortable

August 26, 2019 by Kyira Wackett in Fear & Anxiety

We have become so conditioned to avoid discomfort. Between taking a pill, avoiding the stressor or situation (which social media has had a huge help in) and the endless supply of safety nets and snake oil solutions out on the streets, it is no wonder we feel like sitting in discomfort is painful and unnecessary. Why would I be uncomfortable if I can avoid it? Why would I feel pain if there are things to take it away? Why face that hard situation if I can just pretend it never happened?