Their Reaction Is Not Always About You.

in

Have you ever found yourself in a conversation or interaction, wondering how things got from “here to there”?

It seemed like you were just talking when, suddenly, you are hit with a defense so powerful it is hard to respond. Anger — the degree of which seems completely misaligned with the intensity of the conversation. It might not even be anger directed at you but the intensity of this emotion creates a domino effect so powerful that it can filter everything through its red-coated lenses.

Read More

Beware of "Toxic Positivity". You're not fine and that's okay.

in

One of the cultural norms exacerbated by the pandemic is the overemphasis on and pressure to be positive.


"Oh, how wonderful you can be home and spend this time with your kids" or "It's so great how much more productive I can be now."


Don’t get me wrong. We absolutely need to find joy and anchor on the positive aspects of our lives, especially in the midst of crisis. But the pressure to be "fine" and to have it all together all of the time can lead to "toxic positivity".

Read More

Reactive vs Responsive: Checking the Ways Our Emotions Show Up to Conversations

in

How we respond to and in various interactions is one of the most important sources of power we have.

Do we jump to defense when someone says something hurtful or that feels wrong? Or do we make space for others to have their own thoughts and experience? Are we trying to find a way forward or simply be right? And is it more important to have the other party hear you or react a certain way or can you simply let their reactions go?

Believe it or not, the difference in these answers is what determines who holds your power — you or the other party, or more specifically, you or your shame.

And it all comes down to whether or not you are being reactive or responsive in a given situation.

Read More

Boundaries - The Ins and Outs

in

What are boundaries?

Boundaries are the limits we set — for ourselves and others — as we increase our self-awareness and move forward in creating a life we can thrive within.

Most people, when they think about boundaries, can identify some main ones — physical, emotional, or professional. The truth is, there are 6 main types of boundaries we need to concern ourselves with and focus on in our everyday lives:

  • Physical

  • Mental

  • Emotional

  • Spiritual (No, this is not synonymous with religious or faith…think more metaphysical)

  • Professional

  • Structural (i.e. managing our time, money and resources)

And before you ask, yes, every one of these applies to you.

Read More