What Do You Do?

May 13, 2019 by Kyira Wackett in Meaningful Relationships

A question that defines so much of our communication. It is ubiquitous in every interaction as if we have a quota to hit on the number of times we ask it. And it is not just to adults. We do it to kids and adolescents too; “What do you want to be when you grow up?”, “Where do you want to go to college?”, “What are you majoring in?”, or the worst…”You should be/do ‘X’.”

It is seemingly innocent. People spent significant amounts of their time and energy in school and working, so it is only natural we would ask about it. AND, at what cost?

Lean In To Your Ambiguity

May 06, 2019 by Kyira Wackett in Fear & Anxiety

As humans, our brains are hard wired to avoid discomfort. Fear acts to keep us safe by eliminating possibility and uncertainty, which, over time, it has equated to threats and safety hazards.

When we are faced with ambiguity and uncertainty, our brain works quickly to assess the likelihood of a negative outcome. And fear, being the conservative that it is, never plays a game of risk…(see more)

Let's Talk About Sleep, Baby

April 29, 2019 by Kyira Wackett in Self-Love

According to the CDC and the National Sleep Foundation, more than 33% of Americans do not get enough sleep. That is absurd. AND, when it comes to our priorities, the pressure to always perform and handle “all the things” leads many of us to move sleep lower and lower on the priority list.

Give it a Day!

April 22, 2019 by Kyira Wackett in Meaningful Relationships

We are always in a rush to talk about or “fix” things. The distress we feel for our own and others suffering mounts itself, like a tidal wave that crashes down upon us and the idea of leaving something “hanging out there” feels like an insurmountable task.

I’ve done this more times than I can count. I’ve found reasons to text or call someone because I couldn’t read how they felt at the end of a conversation. I have sat there, frantically refreshing my emails to see if a response has come in from a boss or coworker because the unknown of what they are thinking or feeling has shackled me to my anxiety. I have pushed my husband to stay up way later than either of us wanted because we have to “solve” the arbitrary “this” right now.

Why? Where does that sense of urgency come in?

Stop Apologizing In Your Emails

April 15, 2019 by Kyira Wackett in Assertive Communication

We have all done it. We took a day or two to send a response or to call someone back and immediately open with:

“Dear Mel,
I am so sorry it took so long to get back to you!…”

Trust me, I get it. We feel bad that we didn’t respond or pick up the phone right when the recipient wanted us too. AND, every time you apologize, you perpetuate the notion that we are all at each others beck and call and that nothing “should have been” more important than responding to their electronic communication. Fuck that.