A question that defines so much of our communication. It is ubiquitous in every interaction as if we have a quota to hit on the number of times we ask it. And it is not just to adults. We do it to kids and adolescents too; “What do you want to be when you grow up?”, “Where do you want to go to college?”, “What are you majoring in?”, or the worst…”You should be/do ‘X’.”

It is seemingly innocent. People spent significant amounts of their time and energy in school and working, so it is only natural we would ask about it. AND, at what cost?