Why You Have To Leave Your Comfort Zone To Thrive.
Stagnancy. It may not seem like it, but this is one of the most detrimental life holds: to live in complacency.
To be guided by what becomes the “predictable shittyness” of our life — sacrificing the possibility of “what if” for the known.
Don’t get me wrong. Stability and predictability can be wonderful and in some cases necessary, but those are not synonymous with stagnancy.
Stagnancy is the protective and avoidant choice we make to stay in our comfort zones, protecting ourselves against ambiguity and fear.
It is about making constant rationalizations for the life we live, telling ourselves we are “fine”, when we are breaking down on the inside, hating the lives we lead and becoming a shell of our true selves.
I get it. I’ve done it. I have lived and likely still do in some regards, live on autopilot, inviting the comfort of the “predictable shittyness”, especially when I am sold on the notion that my chances for anything better are outweighed by the negatives. It’s a hard sell to get out of that comfort, but the norms you are selling yourself on are all a misguided lie.
You have conditioned yourself to see all the possible negative outcomes as absolutes.
You’re seeing the world through distorted lenses and have to retrain your brain to see possibility rather than certainty. You have to create a more neutral plane from which you can find curiosity rather than judgment, exploration and openness rather than assumptions.
Where can we start?
What’s one thing you’ve been holding yourself back from doing or letting go of because of the fear of “what if”?
Make a list of all possible outcomes — good, bad and neutral. (Having trouble coming up with neutral or positive outcomes? Ask trusted people in your life to weigh in or ask yourself what you might tell someone else).
Look at your worst case scenarios. How strongly do you believe your that what you fear will happen will actually happen (0-100%)? Is there any possibility for doubt? Any room for an alternative? Can we be absolutely sure that the things we fear will come true?
How does living in that state of presumed certainty affect your daily life?
How can you move to more of an accurate perception? How can you become more curious rather than fearful?
Anchor your courage to something positive that will happen when you make this change? Example” Leaving this relationship will be hard. I will be sad and have to grieve the loss of it all. But by leaving, I’m choosing what is best for me as I know I don’t want to be in this relationship. I am choosing what I need, want and deserve over complacency, allowing myself the opportunity for something better than “fine”.
Time to take action:
What is one thing you can commit to doing in the next two weeks to break out of the cycle of stagnancy?
What 3-7 word mantra can you use to remind yourself you will survive the fears before you?
What can you anchor to on the other side of this action?
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