I am grieving. And that's okay.

I am grieving. And whew, it's a doozy.

Many of you know from some of my recent emails that my grandma — the woman who raised me throughout much of my young adult life — died on July 22nd.

Since then, I have felt angry, sad, joyful, confused, disconnected, completely normal, and so much more. Some days I forget my grandma died. Some, I feel a level of connection to and with her that carries me through my day. And others, it's like a rock in my heart that is too heavy to lift.

To say we had a complex relationship is an understatement.

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Let go of the things — thoughts, people, stories — that are no longer serving you.

Have you ever stayed in a relationship -- romantic or otherwise -- way past its expiration date? Ruminated on a thought that was no longer serving you? Held onto a belief or feeling because you felt scared to let it go?

Welcome to being human.

We are all inundated with shame and fear motivating us to hold on to people, stories, and thoughts that are no longer (or never did) serve us. Why? Because the perpetual chase to be “enough” has become so externally motivated we become stuck in a web of distress and lies.

We are afraid to let go of these things, even though they make us unhappy.

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You Have A Right To Your Grief

How many of you have uttered the words, “It’s fine” when deep down there was no part of you that actually felt that way? Whether coping with a loss, dealing with the pain of recent wrongdoing, feeling burdened, isolated and hopeless, we have all done this.

We have hidden our pain, belittled our experience, and taken on the responsibility of maximizing harmony and minimizing distress in the world around us.

Why?

Because, as a society, we are incredibly grief averse.

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