What are your core beliefs?

August 19, 2019 by Kyira Wackett in Addressing Shame

Before we can work towards change and growth, we have to generate insight and for so many of us, it starts at getting to know the deepest depths of our relationship with ourselves. Where is that? Our core beliefs.

Many of you have heard me use this term before. Core beliefs, or the beliefs we hold about ourselves, the world and our place in it, are the base points from which all the rest of our narrative is created. These beliefs are a foundation for communication, self-esteem, shame, managing distress, time management…and more. What we belief to be true about ourselves is the theme in the book of our lives and so, to begin to understand and take control of writing our own story, we have to get down into the weeds of our inner most selves…(read more)

"I FEEL" vs "I AM"

June 03, 2019 by Kyira Wackett in Addressing Shame

It seems small. One word change. AND, it makes all of the difference. This comes up all of the time with my clients. "I am so fat", they'll say, & with love and gentleness, I urge, "You FEEL fat". Or, "I feel like I failed" rather than "I am a failure". Why is this so important? Because we become the labels put on us & by saying "I am..." we're labeling ourselves, our entirety of being, rather than acknowledging the transient feeling or experience.

These statements are subjective. They may feel like truth but are in fact, opinion. They're attributions heavily ladened with shame, negative self talk & negative core beliefs. They are usually seen & defined through distorted lenses through which we view ourselves & our place in the world. Now, don't get me wrong. Even if it's subjective, the experience is real. I've definitely felt fat. I've felt like a failure & that no one likes me. AND, feeling those things does not make them true.

So, the next time you, or someone you care about says "I am...", gentle correct the course and replace it with "I feel...". Honor the feeling & experience while making space for those words not to shackle you to an identity unfairly ascribed.

Ready to take the next step?

Download the FREE handout, "5 Things Shame Resilient People do Every Day" and start making those daily shifts to break that shame cycle that's keeping you stuck in that negative headspace.
Book a free 25-minute discovery call to discuss different program options and find the support best fits your needs.
Check out some other awesome content on YouTube or my podcast, Untethering Shame.

Find Your Light

May 27, 2019 by Kyira Wackett in Addressing Shame

“You make it really say for people to forget about you.”

I remember the moment my, now husband, said those words to me. Too many nights had passed where I had talked about this feeling of emptiness it seemed was innately present in me where he finally felt a drive to say what I could tell had been on his mind for months.

Why Does Being Authentic Matter?

March 25, 2019 by Kyira Wackett in Addressing Shame

In one of my recent presentations on self-branding, an attendee raised the question about the true detriment to not living “authentically, besides not being happy”? They continued on to explain their thinking in that happiness isn’t always something people want to strive for and is in many ways fleeting. At first, to be perfectly honest, I was not prepared to answer the question so I turned it to the audience and gave them a little time to reflect on their own thoughts and reactions while I gave myself some time to sort through the depth of the question…

Who Am I?

October 09, 2018 by Kyira Wackett in Addressing Shame

I spent years wondering who my dad was. An only child to a single mom, I always wondered what it would be like to truly answer the question, “What would your parents think?” or “What’s your dad like?”. I got good at evasion - giving just enough of an answer people never really knew that secretly I longed for the answer of what he would think. What would he have done if he knew about me? Would he have cared? And would I be different?