The WHAT is significantly less important than the WHY behind it

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“WHY WE DO THE THINGS WE DO IS OFTENTIMES MORE IMPORTANT THAN WHAT WE ACTUALLY DO.”

Throughout our lives, we inherit scripts from those around us — how to act, what to fear, who we are supposed to be…the list goes on. The stories we’re told when we’re young shape us throughout our lives and become the foundation for our emerging who, what and why.

But what is the impact this has? And how can we begin to dismantle it?

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Stop Pretending To Be Someone Else

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PRETENDING TO BE SOMEONE YOU AREN’T IS A MISERABLE EXISTENCE.

The fear of being seen is overwhelming.

We spend years hiding our true selves — making sure that no one can see our flaws — real or perceived. The idea of letting anyone in is frightening.

What will they think of me?

Will they judge me?

Will they leave?

Our shame leads us to believe the only outcome is pain, rejection, and loneliness. Why? Because…

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It's okay to choose yourself.

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When it comes to boundary setting, one of the biggest fears people face is that others will think they are mean, unkind, selfish, etc.

There is a pervasive worry that by taking care of themselves, perhaps taking some distance in a relationship or limiting the role they take on, that they are being mean, bad or hurtful.

And it makes sense…

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What Matters More: Your WHAT or WHY?

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Throughout our lives, we inherit scripts from those around us — how to act, what to fear, who we are supposed to be…the list goes on.

The stories we are told when we are young shape us throughout our lives and become the foundation for our emerging who, what and why.

But this is not universally positive. Even in the above points, there is a ton of gray area through which unhelpful scripts can enter the picture. For example, most of us struggle with communication. That is not a genetic problem. We are not predetermined to be problem communicators. That is something modeled and learned over time and unfortunately, can have long term consequences both personally and professionally.

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