Not seeing results? Maybe it's a motivation problem?

in

Readiness is about establishing thoughts and beliefs — the buy-in. Willingness is about putting them into action or practice.

I watched a TedX Talk a year or so ago given by Mel Robbins where she reiterated multiple times that you will never feel like doing the things you want most in life. I may want to be an early riser, getting up and going to the gym by 5:00 AM, but come the following day, the idea of getting out of bed will sound way less appealing and so I turn over and pull back the covers over my head.

We tiptoe towards action and then when we feel the slightest chill of discomfort, we walk it back.

Statements like, "I'll just do it tomorrow" or "I don't really need to change my routine" fill our heads.

We resign to the idea of being "fine."

This results from being only half-motivated. We have developed the readiness to do or be something but lack the willingness to put that drive into action.

Readiness is about establishing thoughts and beliefs — the buy-in. Willingness is about putting them into action or practice.

This is the case for so many of our life choices and evolutions: ending a relationship, quitting your job, telling your friend how much they hurt you and the list goes on. Fear shows up. We don't like it, so we retreat back into a state of contemplation, or worse, avoidance.

And yes, part of the resistance is absolutely the ambiguity — no one likes to do things we don't have at least some idea of the outcome. But it's also that we keep confusing motivation with willingness. We know you want to do or be "X" but are you willing to put the work in? And how are you going to deal with the internal and external roadblocks guaranteed to show up as soon as you begin this journey?

  • Admit to yourself, change is hard and you will never feel ready or prepared to take the leap. You just have to do it. This is where creating sustainable (or enduring) buy-in is vital.

  • Ask yourself what you want and have been too afraid to do and WHY. List all of the reasons, no matter how small.

  • Ask yourself, a) will these things likely happen, and b) am I happier in my pot of "predictable shittyness" or is the possibility of something greater more enticing?

  • Set a goal for yourself. What is your why? How about the intention behind it? The purpose is what will fuel it even in times of distress or when things are hard - this is your sustainable buy-in. What motivations or anchors can withstand the pressures of shame and self-doubt? It has to be unwavering.

  • List all of the reasons and ways this change could be positive. Again, connect this back to your intention and values.

  • Write down a date and time you were going to do this. IN PEN. Then follow through.

Afterwards, come back and reflect on the following:

  • What did you notice?

  • What barriers came up?

  • What additional supports do you need next time to make this and future work more successful and accessible?

FOR MORE ON THIS TOPIC, CHECK OUT THESE OTHER RESOURCES:

LIKE WHAT YOU ARE READING?

Want an easier way to see recent blogs that saves you the time and energy of having to hunt them down?

Join the AR Insider and get an email delivered to your inbox every 2 weeks that summarize any new blog posts AND includes exclusive content I do not share anywhere else.