Have you ever caught yourself saying something like":
“I have to do…”
“She made me…”
“No matter what I do…”
“No one else will…”
It’s easy to make other people the problem. It’s easy to write a story that absolves you of any power or control. You’re stuck. Life is hard and there is nothing you can do.
There’s convenience in this. If everyone else is the problem, you have no control, sure, but also no responsibility. Your life is a product of uncontrollable circumstances and all you can do is ride the ride. It’s not worth trying to make things better or different — they just are the way they are.
But are you ready for a painful yet super exciting reality? You actually can control a lot more than you think. Sure, you can’t stop someone from making an ask, having an expectation or projecting some feeling or thought onto you. You can’t control what you or anyone else has done in the past. And there’s no true way to control or predict the future.
But you can control how you respond. You can control how much of someone else’s story you take on. You can decide what defines you and from what mindset and emotional root you lead your life.
There is always a choice. Don’t create a story of perpetual suffering. Dare to walk bravely into a story you get to be the lead in.