Have you heard of the concept of "tone policing" before? Essentially, it is an (often) subconscious tool in which people with privilege dismiss marginalized people by focusing on the tone of how something is said versus what is said. For example, the focus on Black people being "too loud" or "too angry" or "too aggressive" when talking about their experiences of racism and oppression. Or, labeling women as being aggressive, b*tchy or bossy when asserting their needs or directing a conversation in the workplace. Rather than listening to the story or making space to engage with the content, we label the person or tone as a means of dismissing what they are saying.

You ascribe meaning to how something is said to avoid dealing with or addressing what is being said.