Spring already?

It’s one of my favorite times of year! Flowers begin to bloom. The sounds of birds fill the air. The sun greets you with a warmth on your face that envelops you like a hug.

We suddenly feel a renewed sense of energy and joy. Our bodies feel less sluggish and confined. We are excited for the day and start to feel empowered to reclaim ourselves whether it be through self exploration, catching up with friends we haven’t seen in awhile, or reconnecting with nature.

It is also a time where many of us feel “ready” to tackle the work we have longed to do. Cleaning out our closets, finally getting those donations you’ve had boxed up for months dropped off, and turning towards introspection and growth.

This is the time of year I am able to really reflect with both patience and enthusiasm, openness and wisdom. My stuck points become challenges to embrace, my dreams turn from whispers to realities, and I find myself both energized and empowered. If you are like me, you can find this both exciting and somewhat overwhelming. It’s as though my brain wakes up and suddenly a million ping pong balls start shooting around inside of it. Clarity and direction become imperative to maximize my efforts and interests. Without that clarity, my unfettered energy ultimately restricts my movement and paralyzes me with anxiety and possibility.

You’re probably thinking…okay, but Kyira, seriously? You’re a therapist and coach. You know what to do because this is your profession. Ahhh, but knowing and doing are very different things. I can tell you what I would tell a client to do or how I might walk with them. AND, it is a whole different beast when you are connected to the angst, excitement and ambiguity. Learning to work within it is not something that is solved by saying a few “right” things. Instead, it has taken me many years and failed attempts to maneuver this energy into a workable force. And what have I learned?

It all comes back to resetting my values - the principles of meaning and importance in my life.

What happens next will remain a blur until the defining of those guideposts. My values help me decide the things I want to keep when cleaning out my closet. My values help me navigate how I spend my time. My values help lead the way for my business and brand. My values ground me and help me weed out practices and principles motivated by external stressors and pressure, superficial interests or distractions from my dreams. In fact, this is the workbook section I tell everyone to begin with in the “Be Bold. Be Brave. Be You.” Therapeutic Workbook and Coloring Book when they are feeling overwhelming or confined to analysis paralysis. Once rooted, we can begin to move forward by simply asking, “What is the next right step for me?” And from there, the momentum can build. I ask this question over and over, bringing attention to a single ping pong ball at a time, easing my way through them to begin to create a cascade rather than chaos inside of my head.

“So, how do I do it?”

Figuring out your values can be tricky. In fact, the most common error I see with people i work with is they want to have a superfluous amount of values. “Well, but honesty, humility, family, connection, spirituality, generosity, passion, love, happiness, growth, leadership…(continues)…” are all important to me. Yes, I believe you. AND, by focusing on everything, we accomplish nothing. We cannot be everything all of the time. There are going to be moments where values clash and choice forces us to navigate towards one value while keeping our backs to others. Instead, we have to acknowledge that while many things are important to us, we have to stick to a few guiding principles at a time - I suggest no more than 5. This allows us to decrease the internal conflict and chaos in our brains and helps us really focus on creating momentum and clarity around the role each of these values places in our everyday life. Will they change? Yes. This is why I revisit my values 2-3 times a year. Values are not stagnant. Values just focus our actions and priorities. They evolve as we evolve. AND, it is important to check in with and force yourself to narrow it down for now. Otherwise, you will be stuck in the ping pong swarm indefinitely.

“Okay but seriously, how do I do it?”

It’s not easy. Scope creep, anxiety, fear and shame all seem to enter the room right when you begin to look at your values. It’s okay. Invite them in and give them a chair on the sidelines. They can watch but they dont have to take over. This is about YOU. It is about having the courage to be honest with yourself and begin to define the life you want to lead.

“How do I know if my values connect to who I want to be and where I want to go?

How do I set intentions and goals that support my values? And how do I keep the bigger picture at play?”

These are all great questions! This is why I created some awesome handouts and deeper dive videos to help you really break down the work.

Remember, most of life is about trying, failing, trying again, and failing again. It is about learning what works for you and taking every opportunity you can to learn more about yourself and to do the work to live your best life. You CAN do this! I know it is overwhelming and there is always going to be a great reason you can give me that it’s “not the right time” or you are just “too busy”. I get it - I have been there! And, those excuses are just that, excuses derived from fear and shame that ultimately, we have to stand up and give a big middle finger to. The life you want is waiting for you if you just stop long enough to create it.