REAL TALK: You WILL let people down.
You will let people down.
Radical acceptance is about controlling what you can control and letting go of the rest. Now, as I say this, you are probably thinking, "well, sure, but I can control whether or not I let people down. That's a ‘me’ problem because what I do is causing them pain, right?" WRONG.
Sure, there are circumstances that we can reflect back and see that we have been a jerk. We've done something hurtful or harmful to others — either personally or collectively (such as making a racist or oppressive comment).
Those points are our responsibility.
But what I am focusing on here is not that. It's all the ways you are taking responsibility for things that are not yours.
The way that someone else gets upset because you are leaving a job
The fear you have about judgment if you leave the marriage where you’ve felt unhappy and unfulfilled for years.
How others get upset because you cancel plans or don't want to do X.
How someone responds to a boundary or a need you request, projecting their own distress onto you.
These circumstances are not yours to hold on to and getting upset with or judging yourself for this is not only hurtful to you but makes it so that others are not held accountable for their own actions and reactions.
You have likely spent most of your life trying to make everyone else happy at all times and in that, have made your own needs, wants and boundaries smaller or obsolete. When you make the shift to show up for yourself, of course, it will feel upsetting to them.
You will absolutely let people down. AND that is not yours to take on.
You have to trust that others will be okay. Reflect on the situation, ask yourself if there is anything you did that was hurtful or harmful from a values or inclusion standpoint and then let go of the rest.