What if we could live in a world where we actually thought everyone was beautiful?

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“Never forget the beauty that lies within you.”

— Kyira Wackett

Beauty. A concept I have found difficult to define to encapsulate the depth and complexity of the term. While it is true, our worth and value should consider who we are, what we stand for and how we show up for those around us, there is another side to the coin.

We live in a culture where the way you look (appearance, body type, weight, skin color, gender presentation, etc) often outweighs those things in determining someone's "beauty".

And yet we pretend this ladder of comparison and judgment doesn't exist, silently perpetuating the polarization of who is and is not beautiful based on a subjective physical experience of a person or people.

In an attempt to move away from this exclusionary system, many have swung to the other end of the spectrum. They are focused on defining beauty purely for who we are on the inside. And as I said a few sentences ago, this is important and should be a factor. But we can't pretend that we are not physical beings in a physical world where we experience people based on the way they look (sight) and the presence of their physical bodies (touch). As such, the term MUST be defined in a way that includes our physical self and our mental, emotional and spiritual self.

Let me clarify what I mean by this.

You, yes, you, are already beautiful both inside and out.

Every single person is beautiful inside and out. There are no exclusion criteria. You don't need to meet a standard. And why the hell are we still ascribing to the notion of beauty "standards" when there is no way to create a list of criteria that genuinely considers the nuances of every person on this planet?

When I first started the #ReclaimBeauty Project, questions poured in about my definition of beauty and my intentions in the progression of this project. My whole heart simply wanted to remind people they are worthy. They are worthy and valuable simply for being alive -- makeup or not, fat or skinny, extroverted or introverted, college-educated or not, white, Brown or Black.

You don't have to earn the right to claim or celebrate your beauty.

It's already within you. And so I empower you:

Stop creating or ascribing to a scale — literal and figurative — determining whether or not you are beautiful.

Shut it down. You've heard me say this already -- get off of the conveyor belt. As a culture, we constantly shift the ideals on all aspects of our being -- body shape, weight, job, education, etc. Just say fuck it. Stop trying to fit within a norm, both because you'll be miserable doing it and the norms are ever-shifting and changing. I know, easier said than done, but whoever said anything worthwhile was?

To do this, begin by reflecting on the following questions:

  • How have you defined "beauty" up to this point? Where did that definition come from and does it truly fit for you and your beliefs?

  • How did you find yourself measuring up to that definition? Did it help?

  • Write a new definition of "beauty" that is inclusive of yourself and all those around you.

  • Develop a 3-7 word mantra that you can repeat every time you lose sight of your worth. Mine is "I'm already enough." Write it down somewhere -- on your fridge, a mirror...wherever. Now, I want you to say this to yourself every day, no matter how silly it feels or dumb you think it is. Obviously, what you've been doing isn't working. So what's the worst that could happen? You feel a little silly? It doesn't work? Isn't it worth it if the possibility is that it might actually improve your sense of self?

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