For years, I had been under the control of an insidious eating disorder making me see food as the enemy and my body as the war zone. I would count every calorie I ingested. I loved to cook but would never taste the food when I made it because I feared that I could not accurately count the calories and factor them into my day. I would plan out every item of food I ate and spontaneity felt like a grenade thrown at me, making me implode from the anxiety and distress it caused. I would body check before, during, and after every meal. I restricted. I binged. I compensated. I lived every waking moment in self-loathing. My eating disorder had made me fear food, telling me that how I looked was directly correlated to my worth and value and that if I gained weight or ate "bad" foods, then...