Doing More...with less?

Minimalism — the thing people do every few months after the clutter of their lives builds back up.

It was by happenstance I became known for my work on minimalism in the community. When I started my career as a therapist, I realized that so much of people’s presenting concerns had to do with the literal and metaphorical baggage they had been touting around throughout their lives. Riddled with resentment, chronic pain, unresolved and complex grief and shame, people were buried in the chaos and “stuff” in the world around them, searching for meaning through external validation expectation. In my personal and professional life, I am being reminded, again, of the importance of truly understanding the concept of minimalism. It is not just about clearing clutter and making your space pretty. It is about going deep, into the cracks and corners of your inner self, and clearing out the webs of anger, resentment, fear, longing, and shame. It is about shining a light on things you would rather walk away from so you don’t continue down an endless loop of temporary fixes and bandaids but instead can create a foundation upon which you can live your life fully and with greater meaning and connection to yourself, your stuff and the world at large.

Ready to learn more about idea of minimalism as I have come to understand and apply it? Here is an excerpt from an article I wrote for Brava Magazine in 2018:

“Minimalism is a buzzword that’s generated a recent cult-like following in our society.

When I first learned about it, I thought it was about who could live with the fewest posses-sions and disconnect from all things technology, never desiring anything new.

Concepts like exploring whether an item brought me joy made me uneasy—I carry enough guilt and shame in my life already. I didn’t want to add more pressure to that mix.It seemed like it became this scale of judgment—those with less were doing it right and those with anything deemed unnecessary would never be minimalists.

But the physical is just one component of clutter and while I might benefit from owning less, I had to believe there was something more to it than just creating another hierarchy of social judgment. Examining the topic more deeply, I was pleasantly surprised to find a depth I had not yet seen explored before.

According to Joshua Fields Milburn and Ryan Nicodemus of the documentary and pod-cast, “The Minimalists,” “Minimalism is a lifestyle that helps people question what things add value to their lives...and make room for the most important aspects of life: health, relationships, passion, growth and contribution.”This broadens the scope of minimalism. It’s about setting an intention to live in a way that leads to greater freedom and flexibility and allows you to feel more productive, focused and free from comparison.

To me, it’s about learning to live your life on purpose.

WHERE DOES THE CLUTTER COME FROM?

Over time, our minds, bodies and physical spaces become ever-expanding dumping grounds and storage. As such, we aren’t forced to clear out our “spaces” as often and keep piling things on top of less attractive items. These abandoned and forgotten items then fester and establish deeply held roots within and around us, making it increasingly more difficult to face them. We all have that one drawer or closet we don’t want to open, the fears we run from or the memory that’s too hard to return to. But what is it that ultimately causes the most clutter?

Unacknowledged or repressed emotions such as anger and shame grow in silence and contribute to negative self-esteem, isolation and searching for artificial peace and fulfillment. The energy wrapped up in a grudge keeps us fatigued and stuck in our past. When we project our insecurities and feelings onto others, we assume they’re holding those same negative feelings about and toward us; this can lead us to compensate by bringing in more “stuff” or people-pleasing.

Fear comes in many shapes and sizes and works to keep us tied to the safety of what I call our “predictable sh*ttyness,” holding us back or forcing an outcome because of externally motivated expectations. The mentality of “Keeping Up with the Joneses” and tying our worth to material things still plagues us today and keeps people on the never-ending chase to the top of a mountain I’m not even sure exists.

And the problem is, we don’t notice the clutter’s impact immediately and, often-times, welcome the avoidance of “stuff”—physical or mental—as it works to help us avoid painful realities or difficult work. The insidious nature of clutter is a deep and penetrable drain that leaves us feeling anxious, overwhelmed, frustrated, disconnected and...well, you get the idea. It’s not good. But the major impact it has on us is it contributes to what, for most of us, is a deeply held belief of not being good enough: We, alone, aren’t worthy unless we have the right phone, car, clothes, personality type, lifestyle, etc.

The pressure can become insurmountable, leaving us feeling even more disconnected from our authentic self, stuck ruminating about our past or chasing a future where we might be able to rest long enough to say, “I’m enough.”…

Hooked? To read the rest of the article, go here:

Oh and check out some specific tips and tricks I wrote for their website here, including getting clearer on the “what” and “why” behind your purchases.

To read more stories from badass women in Wisconsin, check out Brava Magazine.