Adopt your inner toddler: ASK WHY

in ,

Toddlers are curious. They are constantly exploring the world around them with awe and wonder.

  • “Why is grass green?”

  • “What’s lightning?”

  • “Why do we have snot?”

  • “Why do we die?”

  • “Why do only some foods stain?”

  • “Why do I yell when I get mad?”

These are just some of the questions Everly has asked in the past week. Her quest — to make sense of the world around her. Her willingness to explore and uncover truths and possibilities is constant.

Unfortunately, curiosity is a trait that gets conditioned out of us.

The older we get, the more we accept things at face value and get comfortable with predictability.

We prioritize certainty and conformity. We resolve to allow external systems to define our values, goals, and ideals. We stop questioning. We take positions on situations we don’t fully understand or, worse yet, become apathetic to taking any position. We begin to assume a life of black and white and slowly lose sight of — or at least stop seeking out — the gray.

Many of you have set resolutions based on this idea. You’ve designed your life around this concept. Some external pressure system has created a belief in you that if you can do and be “X,” you will be happier, healthier, and more fulfilled. Instead of asking any questions or exploring what happy, healthy and fulfilled mean to you, you just say, “Okay — I’ll do that.”

And when you can’t live up to ideals and circumstances, you aren’t even sure if you want anyway, shame is right there waiting to tell you all of the reasons its your fault and that you should just accept you will always be less.

But here is the thing, your view, experience and value in the world can only be discovered by you.

I have no idea what will make you happy, healthy or fulfilled. Sure, I have some general ideas but life is not like Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. There is no one-size-fits-all when it comes to life design.

Instead of just doing — going through the motions or setting goals and resolutions you should be doing — stop. Ask a few questions. Get lost in “why’s” and “what’s”:

  • Why do you want “X”?

  • What does happiness look like for you?

  • What led you to choose this career?

  • Why aren’t you satisfied?

  • What’s missing?

  • What makes life feel less?

  • What inspires you?

  • Why are you here?

  • Why do I always feel like it’s my job to apologize?

  • Why is this the deadline?

  • And why is it we can’t be flexible?

Now, take it deeper. Get curious about your values and beliefs.

  • Why do you identify as a democrat/republican/other? Is that ever too broad? What would it mean if you didn’t have a position on something? Can you ever stand in opposition to it? What about other aspects of your identity?

  • What makes you feel like there is only one answer? Why do we have to choose in so many areas where there seems to be a multitude of possibilities?

  • Why do we live in a world where being right feels so important? Why am I scared of being wrong, failing or being made to feel less than?

  • Why is the health and fitness industry 60+ billion dollars and yet we still struggle with so many things related to health and wellness?

  • Why do I want this promotion? What value have I ascribed to this?

This year, permit yourself to be a toddler. It’s okay. You don’t have to have an answer.

Curiosity is about exploration, not judgment. Allow the possibility of wonder without having to find a resolution.

What if some things weren’t as easy as they seem? Can you ever allow things to exist unanswered? And can the answers evolve as you grow and your experience of the world continues to expand with it?

Let us know in the comments a why question you are sitting with. What is something you want to make more space to consider and be curious about?

READY TO TAKE THE NEXT STEP?

STAY CONNECTED:

  • Join my email list

  • Subscribe to my YouTube

  • Check out my podcast, Untethering Shame, podcast on Spotify or Apple Podcasts and be sure to leave a review to let us know your thoughts on this episode.