Many of us have a love-hate relationship with this time of year. It’s magical and yet overwhelming. One of the primary culprits? Holiday parties.

One of the unexpected benefits of COVID is that many of us had reasons not to go to these functions. Work parties were canceled. You wouldn’t dare get on an airplane to go to Aunt Meryl’s. Friends met over Zoom and the default to every event was, “NO”.

As painful as it was, those were the days. When “No” didn’t seem so hard.

Don’t get me wrong. We love some of them. But the reality is that any time you get a group of people together, we can predict with almost 100% certainty that someone is going to say something that has no business coming out of their mouth.

And one of the hottest, undying topics — food and bodies.

From what we eat, how much of it is on our plates, the size clothes we wear or our presumed weight and health of our bodies, people always seem to have an opinion, concerned ask or suggestion.

And as soon as their unhelpful comment leaves their lips, it takes everything in our power not to end up in a shame spiral.

On what level did you think that comment would be helpful?

Did you not think I haven’t said those same things to myself before?

Do you think anyone would notice if I punched then in the face? Real quick. Jab Jab.

But we know that none of those retorts are helpful. And retreating, albeit enticing, only perpetuates our shame. So what can we do?

The first thing I want to remind you is…

You have a choice.

You get to decide if you go to these events and how long you stay. You get to choose how you respond when people talk to you a certain way and you get to set boundaries on what is and is not okay for and about your body.

Second, if and when you find yourself in these situations, it can be helpful to know what to say. How can you respond assertively rather than explode on the other person or laugh it off and pretend you are fine only to end up in a cloak of self-loathing later that night?

Check out this video that walks you through everything you need to feel prepared for these unfortunate scenarios so you can be the person you want to be in these situations.

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