It’s all in how we cut the story — perception and perspective are key.

It looks like an awesome photo on a boat of me looking off onto (what seems to be) a beautiful view from the outside. True. There were probably some fantastic views to be had. But this story is quite different.

We were in Iceland and on a whale watching tour with HIGH hopes of seeing a whale out on the ocean.

But after 2 canceled or rescheduled trips that week, and the hope of the 3rd time being the charm, we were unpleasantly surprised to see no more than 10 feet from the boat and were in the midst of stormy weather (which is not unusual in Iceland) the entire boat ride. Even when we hit clearer patches, there was nothing.

I probably wouldn't have been able to see it anyway as I was mostly trying to keep myself from throwing up from seasickness the entire boat ride. And before you ask, yes, I have tried the patches, pills, bracelets, and more...nothing curbs the drive to vomit when I am on a boat, unfortunately, no matter how strong my will or number of attempts. Now, when we think of the world of social media and the internet, we see too many painted pictures of beauty, wonder, and life to "be jealous of." We see perspectives manipulated to show a certain view or outcome.

Don't get me wrong — I am all about people enjoying their lives and sharing that enjoyment and wonder with the world.

AND I am a realist.

I know that not every story, photo, profile, etc., is precisely how we perceive it. Nor does it factor in anything outside of that small cropped image of the world, before, after, or around it.

There is a lot that happens behind the curtain that we often forget about when we see people on social media. Especially when the view from which we see them is through a lens of comparison, seeing ourselves as 'less than" and inferior. We see a few bullet points of their lives and assume it's all an extension of these moments rather than one filled with highs, lows, and everything in between — the same as ours.

We get lost in the fantasy of their lives and allow our shame to compare us to them without context or equal standards.

Our shame gives us guideposts for how to show up. Act this way, look this way, have these things, get this response. So when we get glimpses of it with others, even in a highly edited, curated, and manipulated way, we assume that person is happy, fulfilled, or complete.

We forget that people in all bodies have pain. We lose track of the reality that money, success, and fame do not equate to absolution of doubt, self-loathing, or hard times. We cling deeper to the notion that things will make us happy. And we become fixated on writing the story that we are beneath or lacking and only see these worlds as amplifying that narrative.

I want us to live in a world where we can celebrate each other for who we are, what we've done, and the lives we lead.

To do that, you have to view yourself as a part of that world rather than constantly trying to write yourself out of it. We have to remember the depth of the human experience cannot be showcased on an IG feed in any real way.

So rather than seeing social media as an invitation for self-flagellation and comparison, see it as art. See it as a study in the human experience.

See this photo and consider all possibilities rather than assume an outcome. And when you notice yourself dipping your toes in the pond of comparison, ask yourself who it serves and how it makes you a better person.

FOR MORE ON THIS TOPIC, CHECK OUT THESE OTHER RESOURCES:

• Watch this video on shame to better understand exactly what I mean by it and how it may be showing up in your life.

• Consider more about the role of and pressure to conform.

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