For so many of us, the idea of "love" has become so complicated. False or unrealistic expectations perpetuated by movies, the stories we internalize from those around us about what is and is not acceptable in relationships and the confusion with compassion, infatuation, strong like, endearment and in many cases, shame, and true love — No, not “true love” but love truly.

When we think about the idea of "love" — loving someone, loving something, loving ourselves — it is our right to define what that looks like for ourselves. We get to consider our own thoughts, wants, needs, beliefs, and goals. That is the only way to truly feel it. Otherwise, it’s just a performance made to have everything look a certain way rather than be for you. 

Stop chasing the ideals others have put on you or the ones your shame narrative told you that you should accept, and write a definition for love that fulfills you. And remember, it is not about being happy or chasing some set point. Love is a process — a journey endured — so maintain flexibility and depth in a way that encompasses its evolution.

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