Adversity Rising

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The secret diet companies don't want you to know.

Pssst. Guess what?

You already have a beach body.

Photo Credit/Model: My friend, Tagni Li Moncada

Whenever the weather changes, we suddenly get inundated with new messages on how to "fix", "prepare" or "change" our body to fit some ideal shape or to combat some event or time.

After you have a baby, coming back to the office after working from home during the pandemic, holiday get togethers, season changes, aging...we have all been hit with it at some point in time or another.

One of the worst times is summer.

We have all felt it — the dread to put on a swimsuit.

The hope that no one asks us to go to a pool party or head to the lake because we fear having to see ourselves (let alone have others see us) in our swimsuit.

"It can't be that time of year again, is it?"

And we start feeling this pressure to do what we can to "get in shape" to wear a swimsuit. But all of that messaging is brought to you by the diet, fitness, and clothing industry. They want you to buy the newest supplement. They get rich on your negative self-talk and count on your shame taking over as soon as the sun hits your face.

Sure, their marketing plan works. Why? Because they play on our own internalized biases and shame. They are counting on your negative self-talk in order to make money through quick fixes and shame reinforcers.

You don't suddenly have less of a right to be okay in your body because the weather changes.

You are not more beautiful at a smaller size. Eating that cupcake at your kid's birthday party does not make you less deserving.

So here is an idea. This year, how about we say, enough is enough?

Just put on the swimsuit.

Go to the beach, the pool, your backyard...wherever works for you. Connect with your loved ones, enjoy the feel of the breeze on your skin and let go of the thought of whether or not you deserve it.

It’s going to feel uncomfortable.

You might want to run and hide the moment you take your clothes off and "reveal" yourself. But I encourage you to weather the storm. Ride the wave of your distress and allow your brain to consider the possibility that we have had it wrong — as a culture and for ourselves.

The only way to get away from this thinking is to sit in the discomfort long enough for our fear-brain to turn off and for us to see that nothing bad will happen if we stip playing by these shame-driven rules.

It is not about achieving a certain body type in order to be or feel "X". You already have that right and there is nothing that should stop you from enjoying that feeling of splashing around in the water with your loved ones or spending a day outside!

A friend of mine once told me,

"Do you want to get a bikini-ready body? Then grab a bikini, put it on and go. Voila. A bikini-ready body."

Let's make that the benchmark we hit this year!

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